Tuesday morning this week, I was halfway through writing an email when I stopped. I had rewritten the second paragraph three times, trying to make sure the tone was right.
Then it hit me: the school was 10 minutes away. Why was I spending 20 minutes trying to perfect an email when I could spend those twenty minutes talking to the person?
In today’s fast-paced, digital world, email has become the default communication tool. It’s efficient and helps leaders manage the constant stream of questions and updates. But while email is practical, it can never replace the power of presence.
As assistant superintendent of technology and learning, I see how easy it is to fall into the trap of living in the inbox. Questions about devices, software, network issues, curriculum, and new initiatives are constant. It would be easy to reply and move on.
But schools aren’t powered by email replies. They’re powered by people.
Stepping away from the keyboard and into schools communicates something even the most carefully crafted email cannot: you matter enough for me to be here.
Emails are great for delivering information and documenting decisions. But they often lack context and tone. What is intended as a straightforward response can easily be interpreted as cold, dismissive, or authoritative.
I remember what central office could feel like when I was a principal. Sometimes decisions arrived through email from people who did not have to live with those decisions the next morning.
Now that I sit in a central-office role, I try to remember that feeling. Leadership is not just about communicating a decision. It is about understanding how that decision lands with the people putting it into practice.
Power of presence
Being in schools allows leaders to move beyond managing issues to understanding them. Walking the halls, sitting with teachers, or observing a classroom provides perspective that can’t be captured in an email chain.
When leaders show up, they send a simple message: I am in this with you.
In New Bedford, this has meant standing alongside school leaders as we rolled out initiatives like ClassLink, ParentSquare, and districtwide device work. The projects matter, but so does the time spent listening, answering questions, and making implementation feel like collaboration rather than direction from afar.
Presence builds credibility. Teachers and principals are more likely to voice concerns or share ideas when they have relationships with the people supporting decisions.
From reply to relationship
Not every email needs to become a meeting, and not every question requires a school visit. Leaders need to recognize when efficiency serves people and when efficiency creates distance.
I try to use a simple rule:
Email for information. Call for clarification. Show up for connection.
- Email for information: “What time does the PD start?” “Where can I find the form?”
- Call for clarification: “Can you help me understand why this decision was made?” “I’m not sure this process will work.”
- Show up for connection: “My staff is frustrated.” “This is affecting morale.” “We need to talk about how this change is impacting people.”
Sometimes replying closes a task. Showing up can build a relationship.
Over time, I have developed a more few simple rules for myself. I don’t always get them right, but they help keep me out of the inbox and connected to the people doing the work.
- Create a visibility routine: Don’t wait for problems. Build regular time into your schedule to be in schools. Even short visits matter. The more people see you during ordinary days, the more approachable you become during difficult ones.
- Turn emails into invitations: When a question needs context, resist writing a five-paragraph response. Try: “Thanks for raising this. Instead of going back and forth over email, can I stop by tomorrow and talk it through?”
- Listen before you solve: Being visible isn’t enough. Ask questions and listen before jumping to solutions. Leadership presence only matters if people believe their perspective matters too.
- Show up before you need something: If staff only see central-office leaders when there is a problem, a new initiative, or something needs to get done, presence itself starts to signal trouble.
- Show up when you don’t need anything: Visit a classroom to see what students are learning. Celebrate something going well. Thank someone whose work might otherwise go unnoticed. Relationships built during ordinary moments become incredibly valuable during difficult ones.
- Be transparent and honest: Sometimes you won’t have the answer. Sometimes the answer will still be no. But there is a difference between reading “no” in an email and hearing the reasoning from someone who took the time to listen and explain.
- Document and follow up: After an important conversation, send a short message summarizing what was discussed and the next steps. Use email to support the relationship, not replace it.
School culture relies on connection
School culture isn’t built through a single initiative, policy, or email. It is built daily through the way people feel when they interact with their leaders.
Every school visit, hallway conversation, classroom stop, and difficult face-to-face discussion contributes to a culture where people feel respected and supported. When educators feel connected to leadership, they are more willing to take risks, share challenges, and partner on solutions.
Replying might close the task, but showing up can open the relationship. So the next time an important email hits your inbox, before spending 20 minutes rewriting the second paragraph, ask yourself:
Sometimes the best leadership decision is the same one I made Tuesday morning: close the laptop and go talk to the person.
Because sometimes the best reply is showing up.